Movie’s Most Obnoxious Families

Bad Grandpas and Creepy Cousins

by Jessica Johnson

You can’t choose your relatives. There’s always going to be the goofy cousin, the aunt who wears too much perfume, or the overbearing parent. But no matter how much your relatives drive you to drink, you’ll be glad to know you and these characters don’t share any resemblance.

The Stangles (Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates)

Word to the wise: Don’t answer Craigslist ads for wedding dates. The people who place them may come from a quirky, selfish, yet lovable family like the Stangles. When your sons are so high-strung and out of control that their own parents will accept anyone who can deal with them for the weekend, a trip to Hawaii is the least you can ask for. Honestly, nothing says vacation like a week with histrionic strangers and a bad trip on ecstasy … right? Aloha indeed.

The Portokalos Family (My Big Fat Greek Wedding)

“Give me a word, any word, and I’ll tell you how the root of that word is Greek.” From the random trivia, the complete lack of personal space and privacy, and an unhealthy reliance on Windex, it would be tough to be a member of the Portokalos family. Ian Miller (better known as Aiden from Sex and the City) learns that first-hand as he’s constantly tested on the road to matrimony with leading lady Tula Portokalos. Her family torments him with antics ranging from setting Tula up on blind dates with “nice Greek boys” to her cousin’s inappropriate Greek translations. Ian constantly rises to the occasion. If you doubt that, just ask yourself: Would you let your fiancé’s cousin rub you down with oil in a kiddie pool on the altar of a church? That’s true love.

The Slocumbs (Kingdom Come)

Nothing brings a family together like tragedy. So when Woodrow “Bud” Slocumb falls dead from a stroke over morning tea, the remaining Slocumbs are determined to put their grudges aside in order to bury their patriarch, even if it kills them.

Add record summer heat, sibling rivalry and a devious, passive-aggressive pair of funeral directors and you’ll find yourself right alongside Ray-Bud praying outside of the liquor store.

The Tenenbaums (The Royal Tenenbaums)

Lead by their self-indulgent father Royal, the Tenenbaums are what happens when your kooky cousins who grew up rich end up in a slump in their later years. The cool city brownstone is now run-down, they don’t want your input, and they will do anything to not deal with reality or each other. Can you imagine a family therapy session with the Tenenbaums? So many things to unpack: abandonment, narcissism, and an absurd worldview — to name a few.

The Cleary Clan (Wedding Crashers)

At first glance, it’s hard to feel sorry for a pair of freeloaders trying to get laid at swanky weddings. But these bros John and Jeremy meet their match with the powerful yet dysfunctional Cleary family. If you’re willing to endure the U.S. Secretary of the Treasury’s wife sexually harassing you, your sweetheart’s brother trying to seduce you, and stalker-esque professions of love and adoration, this may be the family for you.

The Huffs and The Dobacks (Step Brothers)

I think it’s safe to say both sets of families here are a little high-strung and out of touch. Why else would 40-something-year-old men attempt to sleep in bunk beds and throw temper tantrums over their parent’s remarriage? One thing is for certain — if you encountered these people in real life, you’d question their sanity and rightfully head for the hills.

EVERYONE in Death at a Funeral

The beauty of this movie is that you can picture it happening to anyone in a “worst-case scenario” sort of way. You’d probably go nuts if the funeral home delivered the wrong casket or a mysterious little person [pun intended] attempted to blackmail you with lewd photographs of the deceased. Add some mismanaged hallucinogenic designer drugs, and you have the most creative set of problems to solve. And what’s family for, if not to creatively solve your problems?

So the next time you think to complain about your relatives coming over, remember you may have dodged a DNA bullet.

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