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Dating With Tips With Bela Gandhi | Top Questions

Bela Gandhi, founder of Smart Dating Academy is back with “Dating Tips With Bela Gandhi.” Bela talks about 5 of the most common dating questions! Remember 1 in 3 marriages happen because of online dating, so if you aren’t convinced you will be after this series.

Let me know what you think. Better yet, drop your dating and relationship questions for Bela in the comments.

Bela Gandhi is a dating and relationship expert, founder of Smart Dating Academy and a weekly media correspondent. She is the dating expert on the Steve Harvey Show, Relationship Insider for Match.com, a regular contributor to the TODAY Show and Good Morning America, and appears frequently on ABC, NBC, Fox, CNN, and more. To learn more about Bela and how to get your dating on, visit SmartDatingAcademy.com.

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  1. How do you get on a dating site the” RIGHT WAY”?! Which site has Honest, God fearing, Respectful, Nice, Professional, Family orientated, Energetic MEN in the age group of 35-40?! Any single man at this age range are obviously single for a major reasons. I am a 36 year old energetic, single mother who has never been married, no boyfriend, and honestly has not had that butterfly feeling of love since high school!
    I have recently turned to dating sites and it has been scary! I also cant force myself to pay memberships for what I have seen so far.. why is this hard? Please help!

    1. Hi Tiffany! First, the best thing to do is to work on shifting your mindset about online dating and men your age! There are great men everywhere – it takes work to find them (along with patience, positivity and perseverance – the 3 Big “Ps” as I call them). Paying for sites is also OK – most come out to less than $1/day – which is a small price to think about if you find your man! Dating is a process that takes time, and it will pay off. Love exists for everyone that wants it, and I know there are many men out there that would be lucky to find you. Check out our tips at http://www.smartdatingacademy.com as well – you’ll find helpful blogs and videos there. Wishing you all the best in love – Bela

  2. I been single for 20 years . I don’t know how to go about dating anyone. I try the dating site but its gotten scary . pof.zoosk. okcupi. Etc I am not a club . So I am 61 I don’t look my age . this even a worth problem because I have younger men hitting on me. I have two sons both their father were younger then me 5 and 8 . got engage he went to jail and other was abuser. I go to church there no one my age
    Need to meet a serious man but funny .enjoy family and friends.

    1. Hi Wilda! 61 years young and ready to find love – this is a great place to be and it sounds like you’re a beauty. It’s not necessary to go to a club to meet someone – but be open to good men everywhere – online or in real life. It sounds like you have accepted men into your life that don’t treat you well – this is an issue that you may consider working with a therapist and/or coach about. At Smart Dating Academy, we often have people come to us because they have dating patterns – and seek out unhealthy partners again and again. I wish you the best of luck in your journey. Bela

  3. I am “paranoid” about dating sites. Which ones are suggested?
    How could I take this journey with less apprehension:)

    1. Hi Lesley! Don’t be paranoid – instead, take that energy and put some time into educating yourself on how to online date the right way. I’ve done a lot of tips on Steve’s site about how to get online, how to identify catfishers, etc. And, check out our site http://www.smartdatingacademy.com. If you’re feeling very fearful, perhaps you can consider creating a supportive group of experienced friends around you that can uplift you through this journey, hiring a therapist, or enlisting the help of a dating coach. All will help you. Sending love and light! Bela

  4. Could you send me something on how do you end a relationship with someone who keeps hurting you .

    1. Hi Joann! We have a tip sheet on our site about the clues you are dating a narcissist. That may give you the confidence you need in knowing this person is bad for you. I can tell you from the clients I’ve worked with for over a decade, the best thing to do when you’ve decided it’s right is to end the relationship and ALL contact at that point. That’s the only way to fully ‘divorce’ yourself of the person. Enlist the help of a supportive therapist who will be your advisor and sounding board through the process, and seek the help of people in your life that support you. I hope this helps! Love, Bela

  5. To who it may concern,
    My name is Jennifer Parkman I’m 53 years old and I have never been married. I’m having so much trouble with the dating scene all the men that I have met of dating sites want sex and that’s it no commitment relationships. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong I have pics that show me working as well as pics that show me dressed up but, still no man they just look plus I’m tired of being paired up with white men I want a man that’s mixed like me part mexican and part European I tried to date a black man but he played too many games. I need help I don’t want to live out the rest of my years alone and having my cat as my only companion please help.

    1. Hi Jennifer, There are great men everywhere, regardless of their nationality, ethnicity, religion, etc. There will always be men who just want sex – just delete / block them and don’t waste time on them. Focus your energy on being proactive, and messaging men who look and sound good to you! Take control of the steering wheel of your dating life, and message men who you’re interested in – and see what happens. Love, Bela

  6. I’ve never turnin on a dating site before because I never knew that something good will come out of it until recently when I watch the show pls ma’am recommend me a good dating site that has the most incredible perple God fearing and respectful people thanks

    1. I am 32 living in Boston currently, divorced single mom, I recently signed on to the matrimonial app because I am looking to get married again not like only dating for fun. I met this guy who was really generous kept on chasing me and we went on first date just a lunch a conversation about the future and what he wants in a woman and what I am looking for, no physical nothing, then started talking on phone, I told him I am looking to settle down not just to have a boyfriend, he also said that if I wanted to just get laid I wouldn’t be on the matrimonial app, so he said we should take things slow and get to know each other well and he does not want to repeat the mistakes he did in the past relationship ( knowing someone better). I was like “ok”
      We went on second date a week later which was better than first no sex nothing just a sweet happy day where he treated me like a lady I want a man to do so for me.
      After that all of sudden he went silent, so after few days I text him that I want to talk to you he said ok, so I talked to him he said he has been really stressed out as his ex is calling and texting him and he wanted to talk to me about it, I told him “look I got on this matrimonial app just so I can find someone special I found you really nice and don’t want to date anyone else unless I know we ain’t on the same page” he says “ I really like you but I don’t want to give you any hope I need time to sort out this with my ex issue going on, you can stay in touch, your call”
      I was like “ ok I am not making friends via a matrimonial app so I would not want to be just friends with someone I feel special about”
      He texted me again that he needs sometime.
      I said “ call me and talk to me like a mature man”

      Now I want to know from you : why this guy approached me through a matrimonial app if he ain’t over with an ex? Some how I have good intuition about him he treated me the way I want a man to treat me when we went on dates. I still can’t forget him, to move on to another person.

      Your advise will be appreciated.


  7. Hi Bela, my name is Masti Patel. I had been previously I am a toxic marriage and have been separated since last 7 years. I haven’t been dating since then. I feel the need of companionship. Also my major concern is that I have a 7 year old daughter, and the thought of other person not treating her well just makes me paranoid. Because of that, again I back off. And this cycle continues. How can I find a genuine partner, who can treat my daughter as his own?

  8. Hello Bela, I’m skies. I’ve been with my boyfriend for year and at the beginning we could talk on phone for hours. Now when I call him and I don’t say anything he’s got nothing to say and the call normally last for at most 5mins. We’ve talked about it and he says he’ll see a psychologist because he’s having some kind of emotional numbness. I got sick for a month and it didn’t really affect him when I complained he felt guilty. He recently asked for a break to work on himself but I told him it’s a problem so we have to work together. Did I do the right by staying together to work on it?

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