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Steve’s Updated 14 Questions Every Woman Should Ask on a First Date

As the CLO - Chief Love Officer, I want to help women out there find love.

As the CLO – Chief Love Officer, Steve Harvey wants to help women out there find love. So here are 14 questions every woman should ask on a first date.

14 Questions Every Woman Should Ask on the 1st Date

1. WHAT DO YOU VALUE MOST IN A RELATIONSHIP?

2. WHAT QUALITY IS MOST ATTRACTIVE TO YOU IN A PARTNER?



3. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP LIKE WITH YOUR PARENTS?

4. WHAT ARE YOUR LONG-TERM GOALS?

5. NAME THREE THINGS YOU’D LIKE TO HAVE IN COMMON WITH YOUR PARTNER?

6. WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?

7. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WON’T TOLERATE IN A RELATIONSHIP?

8. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST STRENGTH AND WEAKNESS?

9. ARE YOU FAMILY ORIENTED?

10. HOW DO YOU SPEND YOUR DOWNTIME? (The older you are, the more important this is. This gives insight to income, without asking that and putting the man off, but make sure it is funded by credit card debt.)

11. WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IS YOUR WORST QUALITY?

12. ARE YOU A GRUDGE HOLDER?

13. WHAT IS THE LONGEST RELATIONSHIP YOU’VE BEEN IN AND WHY DID IT END?

14. FOR WHAT IN LIFE DO YOU FEEL THE MOST GRATEFUL?

Did I inspire you?  Check out match.com or eharmony.com and get dating.



21 Comment

Join the discussion and tell us your opinion.

  1. 1. Trust, Honesty, Respect and Good Sense of Humor not boring.

    2. Trustworthy, loving, caring, and strong foundation.

    3. My father passed. My mom when we do not live together due to controlling and overbearing at times.

    4. Financially-Secured and Living Life to the fullest in everything we do free of chaos.

    5. Trust, Communication/Listening Skills, and Compassion.

    6. Comedy films; stunts such as SNL, funny faces; Comedians such as Colbert, Leno.

    7. Dishonesty – lies – cover-up.

    8. Strength: Too many to list – Main Strength is Problem-Solver. Weakness is patience.

    9. Somewhat.

    10. 50/50. Financially secured and not struggle as a couple. No hiding things from each other or unexpected surprises.

    11. High strong.

    12. Usually not. What bothers me is when justice is not served accordingly.

    13. 15 years – ended because of the daily Physical and Verbal Abuse. Overcame Victim of Domestic Violence.

    14. My Health and trying to Living Life to the Fullest with what I have.

    1. I’m Single. . For 9 years .I’ll be 60 years old next March. I have tried some dating on line paid my money for 3 months. That did not work . Start going out around people more in the Community that don’t work . I’m not a Club person. I work, Volunteer in my Community, Usher at my Church. I’m a widow . Love to have fun . Travel . Out doors. Concerts . Plays. Bowling. Just have decided that I’m ready for a Relationship. Where is my Mate ? Everyone here that approach me is either Married, are in a Relationship, trying to have more than one person and do not know what a woman is worth. I’m single because I can’t play their games. But now I’m lonely. I want to show how My Heart is full of Love for that right Male that Godly Man .

  2. Thank you Steve. As a single woman at age 62 I find these very helpful. I haven’t gone on a date in many years, however, I am often
    asked out. When I do I will have the right questions.

    1. I agree with your 1st date questions because a person can learn a lot and will avoid beening hurt whie getting to know a man because with out it you will never know that person

  3. 1. WHAT DO YOU VALUE MOST IN A RELATIONSHIP?
    Within a relationship, the attributes that I value most are honesty, integrity, openness, by openness I’m saying that He is willing to be vulnerable to and with me. Maturity. Empathy. The ability to be affectionate.

    2. WHAT QUALITY IS MOST ATTRACTIVE TO YOU IN A PARTNER?
    The quality that is most attractive within a partner for me is that he is dedicated/loyal/trustworthy.

    3. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP LIKE WITH YOUR PARENTS?
    My relationship with my parents is very loving, giving, and endearing, everything to me. Means the world to me.

    4. WHAT ARE YOUR LONG-TERM GOALS?
    My long term goals are to have someone to share my life, my time with within what I call the final act, retirement, travel, marriage, before the
    epilogue of my life.

    5. NAME THREE THINGS YOU’D LIKE TO HAVE IN COMMON WITH YOUR PARTNER?
    The three things that I would like for my life partner and I to have in common are, to have a viable/faithful relationship with God, our values, and compassion for others.

    6. WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
    What makes me laugh, family time, hanging with my woman friends/ hanging out, sharing dinner, a movie.

    7. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WON’T TOLERATE IN A RELATIONSHIP?
    I will not tolerate dishonesty within my relationship.

    8. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST STRENGTH AND WEAKNESS?
    My biggest strength is that I’m Loyal and my weakness is that I’m too giving of my heart.

    9. ARE YOU FAMILY ORIENTED?
    I’m absolutely family oriented.

    10. HOW DO YOU SPEND YOUR DOWNTIME?
    I spend my downtime, relaxing, doing whatever it is that I want to do, be it an evening out with friends, curled up on the sofa with a fun read, sleeping, listening to music, watching a movie, going to dinner and a movie alone, going shopping, sleeping, pampering myself, and I want to travel more.

    11. WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE TO BE YOUR WORST QUALITY?
    My worst quality would be that in the past I stayed too long, too loyal, in relationships that were not good for and to me.

    12. ARE YOU A GRUDGE HOLDER?
    I’m absolutely not a grudge holder. Never have been, or will I ever be a grudge holder.

    13. WHAT IS THE LONGEST RELATIONSHIP YOU’VE BEEN IN AND WHY DID IT END?
    My longest relationship was to be for 4years before I ended the relationship. The relationship ended for I had no desire to continue to give more of me to someone who was not worthy of me continuing to give him the best of me.

    14. FOR WHAT IN LIFE DO YOU FEEL THE MOST GRATEFUL?
    I feel the most grateful for God’s Love, Grace, and Tender Mercies that are given to me daily by God. God has loved and forgiven me through the storms of my life. That I know how I am supposed to be loved because of Gods love and teachings, life lessons have taught me.

  4. I’ve dated a guy for a little mire than six months, and was seeing one another prior to that for more than 6 years. I love him so much, but I know my worth and don’t feel like he prioritizes our relationship as he does his friends and family. We’ve been through a lot, and life’s too short for this mess. I don’t understand why is it so hard to be with a honest man who wants nothing but honesty,love,and dedication.

  5. Hello Mr. Steve, these are some very good questions. I’m 53 and having trouble with dating or even meeting the right guy. I got tired of putting my heart out there only to get stomp on or used so i put dating and love on the back burner but not I’m wanting to give it another try but with your help. I have adult children and a grandmother of 2 and the ones I seem to meet or try to get to know are about games and i don’t have time for that. Steve, help me with dating or even finding love again. Thank you

  6. Steve, you never say that Rubin has a wife. I am 4-10 1/2 and a prize catch at 68. He is handsome, agile and a sharp dresser. Yes, I am out of the box too. I retired 2 years ago as a director of nursing and was brought back a month later as education/ clinical reviewer director.

  7. Hello Steve, I’m 51 and having trouble meeting the right man. I have been hurt in the past but have let it go and has moved on. My children are adults and have there own lives. I have 1 granddaughter. I must admit I have demanding jobs and very busy at times. If I meet the right man, I would be willing to make time. There is someone I have been interested in for years and you are the only person that can get this message to him. If he is not interested, I still would like your assistance.
    Thank you for your time.

  8. Five years ago I lost my husband of 43 years..I went back into depression and wanted God to take me too.. he was the only man I ever new I thought my life was over…in my sixties now what… God promised me something new and better.
    In a matter of 6 Months..my oldest daughter got cancer, me y mother died, two .months after that my husband died,
    My two oldest grandchildren were very close to him and were lost.
    The oldest got in with the wrong kids and became an addict is In rehab now.
    My daughter is now cancer free. We ve been thru a lot…I have not lost hope I know I am blessed.. but I feel all alone and want someone of my own..
    I met someone on line and we fell in love
    My daughter doesn’t want me with him and thinks I’m being scammed again. I’m not I flew out to Colorado springs to meet him he’s real….I do send him money I know I shouldn’t it’s too help with his groceries all his money goes on getting things ready for us to ect. A year ago I found out I have cancer, he knows and calls me everyday to encourage me
    He still wants me and believes I’m going
    To make it I do to….he is waiting for me.
    I’m supposed to fly out a gain when I m strong enough..I’m doing good and want to go soon…I haven’t seen the house that should be built by now which is important to me to see…I was wondering if you be could help me with this to prove to my kids he’s real…
    He’s my Godly man… Also not that it matters but I wanted a black man my late husband was white as myself I loved him but we had lots of hard times he was a heavy drinker….I want everything different this time…we are 10 years age difference… He tells me it’s only a number…. I want to feel loved and appreciated he knows I am a good woman and can make him happy…. We both are Christian which is very be important to me….I am 69 and still have a young heart I will beat the cancer with Gods help…. God is not done with me yet
    This I know….I still have work to do for the Lord….so would you please help me with my long distance realationship…I know he s not after my money I am retired and don’t have any….Bless you Mr Harvey….

  9. Hey, Steve. I’m puzzled. What do you mean by making sure one’s downtime is “funded by credit card debt?” — Thank you. — Kathy L.

  10. Hello Uncle Steve, For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a fan of yours and would love to be an audience member on your show. Years ago, I called in to a radio show contest and won two (2) front row seat tickets to see you perform at the Memorial Auditorium in Chattanooga, TN, enjoyed the show and laughed so much, by the end my voice became hoarse.

    You have continued to expand/evolve and help others build their brand. There’s a few things i’d like and appreciate your guidance/advice, one would be to have you find three (3) eligible single bachelors interested in meeting an attractive, energetic, down-to-earth, 5’6 (w/o heels) –
    240 pd (don’t look it-at least that’s what they tell me) 54 year old, divorcee, who hasn’t dated nor been out on a date in about 15 years or longer.

    The other two (2) things are entrepreneur-ships and patents for separate ideas both my son and I have created and more ideas keep coming to mind but we need direction (some hand holding – coaching/mentoring) from you, Steve. Will you please help us to make our ideas a reality, build our brand and share our legacy.

  11. I’ve been trying really hard to encourage my Mom to date. She’s 75 years old and really attractive. She often gets noticed by men much younger and near her age. She never remarried after divorcing Dad when me and my sis were kids decades ago, and hasn’t dated much, turned down a proposal. I’ve tried with online dating for her, but it’s not been successful with finding suitable guys who are consistent. How can I help her get back out there and dating?

  12. Hello Steve. I’m in a dilemma. I’m 68 years old. Very active and live on my own. I’ve dated a man since 2016 but he wants to only be friends. I can say I love him and I know he’s not good for me but it’s difficult to leave. I met another nice guy and he wants the same type of relationship. I drew the line with him, “no committed relationship no cookies”. He’s strill trying to influence me by learning and joining my pass time events but he’s not creative in dating. He just wants to come over. NOT. I’m a retired officer that swims, dance and play cards regularly. I enjoy life to the fullest but I hear men say “I can’t handle that” and “she’s high maintenance”. I believe, they’re insecure and I don’t need them type anyway. However, I would like a companion. Signed, Less years in front of me.

  13. Im sixty six years young. I am a widow of 14 years. How do I meet a nice man. I would like companionship. I’m scared of dating sites. If you have any ideas I’m willing to try them. Thank you in advance. I love watching your shows. I am also proud of all your accomplishments.

  14. I’m sorry but these are not good first date questions at all! You want to have fun on a first date not ask them a million annoying questions as if they’re on a job interview. I would even be annoyed if a first date was asking me all of these questions… I would be thinking why does it matter I’m never going to see you again anyway, stalker.

  15. Mr. Harvey.. I’m 64 years old & I’ve been dating this 55 years old man that live with his Mom after separation from his wife yes for 8 months… I love him,he have told me in the 3rd month he love me….Now I didn’t go thru your 14 questions ..he a good man with his children & Mom & separate still…said he wife came & said she want divorce after 2 or 3 years wait due to no money.. but I feel like its all les..I nee some answer where he going with me & should I leave..because we’ve broken up twice already

  16. Hi Steve I need your help. For the past 24 years I have been in an on and off relationship with my ex husband. He will leave get a new relationship and when it doesn’t work come back to me. We have been divorced since 2010 and it happened again this year January. He left got in a new relationship and is now married. I feel like such a fool for allowing this man to treat me this way. I need help because I know that this not a good relationship. Please help me I know this is disfunctional and wants it to stop. I NEED YOUR HELP PLEASE!!!! This is very devastating for me!! HELP ME BREAK THIS CYCLE

  17. On question 10, did you intend to say: …make sure it is NOT funded by credit card debt?

  18. While these are all good questions. I too think theses are not for the first date. Your first date may answer these questions without you ever popping these questions. Just watch and listen to your first date. Also, the first date needs to answer these questions in behavioral terms meaning give specific detailed examples like sure I hold a grudge like when I put sand down my ex’s gas tank. Need more than a yes or no answer. Or ask has anyone told you that you hold grudges. Who and why. Define family oriented or really define a lot of words in questions. Maybe ask first date define family oriented. Get to nitty gritty. You say you get along with your mother is that what she says and why. When was the last time you saw your mom and for how long. Get the message?

  19. Hi Steve, I was in a 15 year relationship that ended up he cheated and even moved her in with him. I am 57 years old and have been single for 2 years now. I have dated but they all seem to play games. I am going to use your questions from now on and continue to PRAY for God to send me my Soulmate!! Thanks Steve

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