Bouncing Back From Betrayal
Do you stay or do you ghost?
By Jessica H. Johnson
No matter how great it seems, relationships aren’t always sunshine and rainbows. While we celebrate joy, there are tougher moments that can show you who you’re really dealing with. One of those moments is dealing with betrayal, and navigating your way back to happiness.
It’s unpleasant to think about, but when dealing with another person, there’s a chance that they will cross a line and betray you. Sometimes feelings are hurt, egos bruised, or people are dishonest. The result is everyone sent limping to their separate corners to regroup and heal their wounds. The question is: what comes next? Whether it’s in dating or just in life, when someone you care about disappoints you, we don’t want to admit that the relationship is forever changed. If you value the person, then you have to figure out how to either forgive. If not, then it’s time to move around. Either way, we have some helpful hints to get you back to your best life.
Despite how tempting it may be to “ghost” someone if they’ve hurt you, it’s quite possible that it was all a huge misunderstanding. Texts get misinterpreted, tones get testy, and sometimes people really do say things they don’t mean. If you can find your voice in a disagreement, you should be able to find it to explain what made things do off the rails. Communication is key. If the person means as much as you say they do and vice versa, Taking time to express how you feel is really the first step to getting back on track.
Manage Your Expectations
You are uniquely you. Your upbringing, education, environment and experiences are things that no one else has. They shape how you interpret and interact with the world around you. Most people cite the similarities between them their friends, and their loves. When we do this, we completely forget that other’s unique upbringings, education, environment and experiences helped shape their worlds. So anytime you have a falling out, have some grace and remember they just may not see things the way that you do and perhaps they never will.
Set Your Boundaries
If what happened is something you simply cannot let go easily, it may be time to evaluate what exactly is the root of your frustration. Was there real malice or is it possible that you were being too sensitive that day? If a line was truly crossed, you may decide to give the offender the benefit of the doubt, but make sure you let them know where things went wrong so they don’t do it again. If you decide that it’s time to turn them loose, make sure that they know why so you don’t have to suffer through awkward phone calls and weird interactions.
Remember, once you’ve been betrayed, it’s 100% your decision on how to handle it. Whatever you decide to do, it’s all about your level of comfort and how you wish to move forward. You get to choose who has a place in your life. Make sure you’re always surrounded by love.