The Power of Perseverance
How Staying the Course in Your Relationship is the Sexiest Thing Ever
By Amanda Garrigus
We all know how exciting the first blush of a relationship can be. The butterflies, the bells and whistles, the all-consuming desire. It’s beyond intoxicating. It’s utterly mesmerizing. Romantic Comedies live and die on the power of that moment, so do some pretty intense thrillers. It’s a feeling we all long for, fight for, cling to, and it’s the best thing ever. Or is it? The early days of a relationship can be mind-blowing for sure, but in my view, the really good stuff, the stuff that’s truly worth fighting for, comes year later. Now, I’m no relationship expert, but I am someone who’s been married for nearly twenty years. I can hear the collective gasps. I get it. The reality of that number hits me between the eyes not infrequently. In a nation where less than fifty percent of marriages make it, I take my twenty year sojourn as a pretty remarkable achievement, and I’m here to talk truth from the other side of those electric first days.
I know there are many of you out there who think that the first weeks and months of a relationship are the be all and end all, and that every month, year, nay, decade after that are just steps closer to utter boredom and disinterest. I used to think that too. But I stand here, living proof that relationships can get better over time. Soooo much better. Think about it this way. When you’re in the early stages of, well, anything, you know almost nothing about it. Sure, the newness is exciting, but it can also be awkward and clumsy. You don’t know quite how things fit, and the nuances, the cadence and rhythm, aren’t yet finessed. There’s plenty sexy about fumbling about hungrily, but you know what’s even better? Knowing exactly what you want and having a partner who’s an expert at delivering. Does it sound like I’m talking about sex? Well, I am. But, everything I’ve said also applies to your lives together outside the bedroom. You and your partner go from being a newly formed band to The Beatles circa A Hard Day’s Night. You’re at the top of your game, working as a well oiled machine.
Suffice it to say, commitment in a relationship has to be earned. Never waste your time on someone who’s disrespectful, abusive or an obvious bad fit. It’s also equally important to acknowledge that one person cannot be all things. But, if the two of you line up on the things that matter most, like world view, sexual appetite, lifestyle preferences, hopes for the future, family goals, and financial ones, then your relationship is probably worth investing in over the long haul. You will have some pretty crappy times, that’s basically guaranteed, and those trying times could spans months, or even, ehm, years. But, if you are both committed to emerging victorious with your hearts, minds, spirits and relationship intact, then you will be rewarded with more love, understanding and, yes, mind-blowing sex than you could ever have imagined. In my view, the fairy tale isn’t all about the the wedding. It’s about your prince, or princess, looking at you twenty years in and saying they love you more than ever before. It’s knowing with absolute time-tested certainty that there is no one you’d rather be walking through this crazy world with, because they get you, they really know you, and they love you anyway. That’s sexy. That’s #relationship goals, and that’s worth fighting for.