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Dating Tips With Bela Gandhi | Acing The Date

First dates can be a lot of fun but how do you ace the first several dates?

First dates can be a lot of fun but how do you ace the first several dates? We’re back with Dating Tips with Bela Gandhi founder of Smart Dating Academy.

Here are a few tips from Bela Gandhi on how to ace your first few dates! No need to be nervous, we’ve got you covered. Things like pre-game rituals (get to your happy place), master the conversation (and be a good listener), all of this and so much more to get you through your first few dates.

Let me know what you think. Better yet, drop your dating and relationship questions for Bela in the comments.

21 Comment

Join the discussion and tell us your opinion.

  1. If Mr. STEVE HARVEY will not be hosting this show, then please disregard my information from this show. Otherwise, dear Steve, I am a 58 y/o twice divorced young black female. I’m having the hardest time finding a decent man that has self esteem and no trust issues from past relationships. HELP! I’d rather be alone than to deal with another’s past problems. signed Alone and Frustrated.

    1. Hi there Alone and Frustrated! I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time – and you’re right, it’s better to be alone than to have a relationship with someone that makes you feel badly all the time. I promise you that love exists for you – and seek help if you need it (through counseling or coaching). It will be worth a great deal – as it’ll help you to see why you are picking the same kinds of men that aren’t good for you – and help you to understand/identify a partner that will actually make you happy. Best of luck to you. Love, Bela

  2. Why is it when one shares too much and the other one doesn’t share enough and they try to get the other one to share?

    1. Hi there, If someone is an over-sharer, they may want you to share more so that they can get to know you more deeply (and get past the superficial stuff of dating). If you’re not comfortable with sharing certain things or feel it’s too early to share, trust your gut and stick with what feels right to you. Love, Bela

  3. Hi , I’m ifey from ( Ghana???????? ). Uhm, I had been with this girl, she is a friend to me but I think maybe or not she might been in one relationship but she is so good to me , and the only thing is that she is seen me as a player or someone who is not serious, several I had been telling her about how am fancying her , like I love her and I will love to be with her , but she is not taking it so serious with me, …….
    ..{ “so my question is what can I do more for her to know how serious i’m and for her to know how desperate I’m in loving her” .? }

    1. Hi Ifey from Ghana, If she thinks you’re a player, then you have some work cut out for you. Show her that you care about her by taking her out, spending time with her, getting to know her. Take walks together, have meals together, and don’t push anything physical too early (or she may think you’re just trying to get with her). Take it slow and steady, and hopefully you can win her heart and mind. Love, Bela

  4. Dear Bella, I am a 57 y/o widow! Been widowed for 24 years, since August 28, 1995.
    My husband was car-jacked and killed here in Chicago, leaving me to raise my son and daughter alone. And that I did, so to say the least, my heart desires are to meet someone, and re-marry, but I’m having a hard time…
    I have tried putting myself out there through dating sites, meet-up’s, blind dates, Church, and I can go on, but sadly the men that I have met want to head straight to bed, and after I blow the whistle, and let them know, that’s not happening, they disappears everytime. Not to mention that I have been writing Steve for years, but sadly my letters just have not made the cut. So will you please help? My birthday is January 19, and I pray that I won’t have to celebrate alone once again.
    Matter of fact, Steve birthday is a couple of days before minds, so can you please mention this letter to him? He will understand, why Capricorn’s despises being alone…
    Sincerely Karyn

    1. Hi Karyn – I’m so sorry that happened to your husband in Chicago – truly tragic and I hope Chicago gets to be a safer place again. Perhaps you can try online dating – which will expand the pool of men that you’re meeting. Online dating isn’t fast / easy, but it’s responsible for 1 in 3 marriages in this country. Give it a try – watch some of our videos here on Steve’s page about online dating and dating over 50 – and hope it will give you some inspiration to try online. Love, Bela

  5. Good day. I’m khalil a and I’m interesting in a girl that don’t speak much, but at the same time I want her to open up, so I can get to know her. We’re both in university

    1. Hi Khalil – be patient and slow in trying to get to know her. She may be shy/introverted, and it may take her time to open up / trust people. Show an interest in her, do something nice for her. If after repeated attempts, she still refuses to talk – perhaps she isn’t interested in a relationship. Try slowly and see what happens – you have nothing to lose. Love, Bela

  6. I’ve been searching for my right soulmate but still i did not succeed.most apps now need to be paid with high price just to join a certain dating apps.i am not desperate but i know God will give me the right pwrson for my life and i hope you can humbly help me.Thank you.God bless you more.

    1. Hi! There are lots of free dating sites and apps out there that you can use to find love. The dating apps that require money are usually less than $1 a day, so perhaps you can allocate some money to your dating budget to allow for paid apps as well. Keep the faith, love exists for everyone that wants it – you just have to change what you’re doing if it’s not working. Love, Bela

  7. I am 70. WIDOW. Attractive for my age of 70. Have been contacted by a handsome guy. Age 54. He is infatuated by me. He saw my picture on Facebook. Read my profile. He has been eager to meet me. Showers me with flattering comments. My ” beauty. My smile”. He is coming on very strong yet seems genuine. He says he originates in CO near city where I live. Leaving notary soon. Wants to meet me. Honestly I am flattered. I don’t know what to think or do. Haven’t thought about dating since my hubby passed 5 yrs ago. Feeling awkward and anxious. This guy has so built me up in his mind. It is embarrassing and a little intimidating. Should I meet him? He is quite handsome. But I pointed out how I am 15 years his senior. He insists it done not matter. He feels I am his destiny .A woman to fulfill his future desires. Ugh. I am scared a little. I feel like he has inflated my image so.much I may not measure up to his somewhat fantasy image of me. I have pointed all this out. He is Not swayed. Fairy tale infatuation? What to do. He is supposed to be co.ing home in a week. Retiring from.a lengthy military career .

    1. Hi 70, thanks for the comment and be wary of this. Too good to be true is usually too good to be true. No normal person can become so infatuated with someone without meeting them. It sounds like he may be a catfisher to me. Offer to talk with him on the phone, or face time with him so you can see if the situation checks out. If someone is a catfisher, they will be very reluctant to talk with you – and they may plan a date (but will cancel the day of or before, and usually with a dramatic reason that requires you to send money). Be careful – and trust your best judgment here! Love, Bela

  8. How to find a date after 50?

  9. I’m Daniel from Uganda, but currently living in Atlanta, I’ve had a head time finding the perfect woman to date. What advice would you give me? Are there dating sites that you know, that are good, I e got the worst only.

    1. Hi Daniel, There are lots of good sites and apps out there – it’s like needle in a haystack though and it takes patience, positivity and perseverance to find someone through the apps. I would suggest bigger sites / apps like Match, Tinder, Bumble, EHarmony, Plenty of Fish. Love, Bela

  10. Hi,
    I am going through a divorce after 19 years of marriage. I consider myself an attractive, confident 46 year old woman and have been told that many times; yet men just don’t approach me. I think that I come across very strong and intimidating but how much should I soften my aura just to attract a guy?

  11. Hello, I’ll be 69 in a couple of months. I’ve been married twice. The first one I was too young (17) and had 3 children before 20 years old. The second one was too soon. We met in January and was married October the same year and had a child at 40. After bettering myself with education and exercising, I now would love to meet that special someone. I’ve tried dating sites to no avail. Please help me.
    Lonely Senior

  12. Why not to give real phone number on online dating? How do I know if the person is real of fake?

  13. hey steve how are you doing? i watch your all vedio u are so great man i really appreciate you am from Ethiopia 25 years old but i leave in kenya Nairobi if someone happy with me am looking for date lovely woman i don’t care about age like 25-40

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